Now it’s time for something a little different.
I have decided that this is the best place to unleash my inner demons, because to be honest, nobody wants to have to listen to a full-scale verbal rant. Unless they’re fully trained psychiatric professionals.
To start off, I have been working in my local supermarket since September 2010. Ever since then, I have remained in the same position, working the same static hours, once a week, minimum wage, without any variation. At the beginning it was fair enough, because I was still in secondary school at the time, and that is what I was capable of managing at the time. Skip forward two years to the end of secondary school: still no change. At the time, I thought nothing of it. But then skip forward another two years with no deviation, and now it’s really time to take the finger out.
From the manager’s perspective, or at least in my opinion, he has not taken too kindly to me since I started, and he feels I was forced upon him when it came to my commencing of employment.
The story behind this was: After myself and my family had come back from a family wedding in Brighton, we noticed that a stack of compressed cardboard boxes had been placed directly outside the gate to our back garden. The way it had been positioned would allow for any burglar or robber to climb into our back garden and break in. It had come from the supermarket because our house is literally right behind it. My father was unimpressed by this and took it upon himself to have a word with the owner. As a courtesy to him, the owner agreed that I would begin working at the supermarket.
I was 17 when I started work there. It was new to me; which became all too clear to me on my second week when I came in an hour late, unaware of the roster time. The manager had a stern discussion with me, basically telling me off, and since then, I had become terrified and intimidated to approach any managerial figure present.
As I attempted to come out of my shell a little bit, as time went on, it had become clear that the staff and management had formed an opinion of me.
To illuminate you a bit more, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome in 1997 at the age of 3-4. I have grown up having problems with social interaction, ranging from minor to crucial. I have improved with age, but some people occasionally pick up on my shyness. At work was no exception.
Time and time again I would approach the HR manager and inform him of when I am free and if there is available vacancies, only to be declined (or in some cases, I would tell him of when I’m free and the matter would be completely ignored in the future.)
Recently, I confronted him on the matter, only to discover that they have been judging me solely on my shyness. I find it unfair that this is the mentality they have regardless of me being courteous to every member of staff and customer alike.
I am one of three people working in the supermarket who is stuck working once a week, bag packing, while EVERY OTHER EMPLOYEE has a more flexible range of hours and aren’t left in a position where every week there is a different charity group who collects money for packing bags, leaving me to feel quite redundant and useless.
It is also annoying to see that every couple of weeks, a new fresh-faced employee joins the company and immediately has longer, more flexible hours than I have had after nearly four years of service.
What is also upsetting is that some of them have this superiority complex, thinking that the bag packer is merely a peasant. There have been instances where I have been summoned by the click of a finger. A. I’m not a fucking butler, and B. Where do you get off thinking that you can treat me like an animal?
This is hugely upsetting to me and has been eating at my self-esteem for nearly four years now. I understand that I am a bit socially disengaged now and then, but is it really worth hoping in on that point constantly, demonstrating this sort of subliminal social bullying that doesn’t seem to cease?
I’ve had enough.